Happy St. Patrick's Day!!
Happy St. Patrick’s Day, everybody! St. Patrick is best known for spreading Christianity to the Irish, driving the snakes out of Ireland, and of course, being the patron saint of drunk texting on a Tuesday.
It’s the biggest drinking weekday of the year!
Second, if you count tomorrow when you show up to work still drunk and get fired.
Hey, it’s not unemployed, it’s unlimited weekends.
You gotta go out tonight, even President Obama is celebrating….
Everyone has their own way of celebrating, even President Obama. It’s tradition that every year on St. Patrick’s Day the Prime Minister of Ireland visits the President and gives them a bowl of Shamrocks. It’s called the “Shamrock Ceremony.”
To be clear, Prime Minister Enda Kenny will be giving President Obama a bowl of clover leafs and not a bowl of high fructose corn syrup, water, sugar, natural flavor (plant based), xanthan gum, citric acid, sodium benzoate, Yellow #5, and Blue #1, aka some of the things you’ll find in a Shamrock Shake.
Also, along with those delicious ingredients, McDonald’s wants you to know that the Shamrock Shake may contain….
Yes, small amounts of other shake flavors, because McDonald’s doesn’t give enough of a fuck about you to clean a blender.
The “Shamrock Ceremony” actually sounds like a really productive event. Prime Minister Enda Kenny plans to use the holiday as a way to talk to President Obama about stopping the deportation of 50,000 illegal Irish Immigrants.
Man, I wish we could have a Saint for every day of the year, it sounds like we would get a lot more done.
That's why I’m officially making tomorrow Saint John Boehner's Day, a new holiday where the whole world puts aside their differences and goes tanning with the person at work they hate the most just to help their company move forward.