Mesa Shooting Victim Takes Selfie
It goes without saying that yesterday’s shootings in Mesa, Arizona were a horrifying tragedy that’s happening too often in this country.
It’s incredibly small, but there is a slight glimmer of hope coming out of this terrible event. A young man injured in the shootings proved that America’s spirit is still strong amongst young people. Of course when I say “America’s spirit,” I’m referring to America being the land of the free and the home of the “bro, you gotta see this shit.”
While working at a local restaurant, 20 year old Isaac Martinez was approached by the monster responsible for yesterday’s shooting spree. The killer demanded Isaac give him the keys to Isaac’s car, and Isaac said no.
Side note, that’s a bad ass move. I think Isaac just got a role in the next Expendables movie. I would’ve been like, “do you want the keys to my house too? How about one of my grandmothers? Please don’t shoot me.”
But 20 year old Isaac said, “no,” got shot, ran out of the restaurant, and proceeded to do what we would all do in this situation, take a selfie.
He then uploaded it to snapchat with the caption “I just got shot…” Now here’s where I start to disagree with Isaac’s decision making.
Snapchat?! The app where images disappear after a few seconds?! And you didn’t even use a cool emoji? Come on bro, act like you’ve been shot before!
Everybody knows that you have to sync your Facebook and Twitter with Instagram. Use Instagram to take the selfie, upload it, use #nofilterbitches and watch the likes start pouring in.
Let’s do the math here: you get shot, you’re at work, and you have a white apron on with lots of blood? If you can get two puppies cuddling in the background, we’re talking at least 47 likes.
Then you go on Twitter and start demanding retweets. I’m talking retweets from Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Kevin Hart. At the very least, you could definitely get a free flight from Delta.
Isaac, you really dropped the ball on this one. You could’ve got free stuff for life, but instead you uploaded the picture to snapchat? Clearly, you weren’t thinking with your head, it’s like you got shot or something.
To be fair to Isaac, after sending the “I just got shot” photo, he did use proper snapchat etiquette by following it up with his next snap, “but my dick didn’t!”
No matter how classy it becomes, snapchat will always be remembered for dick pics.
But in all seriousness, Isaac posted an update saying he’s now home safe and should heal fine. Get well soon, Isaac and my thoughts are with everyone hurt by this senseless tragedy.