Mike Lemme

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Reservations For Auschwitz

Officials at the Auschwitz Museum are suggesting people make reservations online before arriving at the memorial, because the former concentration camp has seen a massive increase in visitors. Revisiting the horrors of the Holocaust is getting so popular, Netflix might bring it back.

13 episodes and, for some reason, also starring John Stamos.

The former death camp is experiencing so many visitors, officials are encouraging people to make reservations online, or else they might get turned away. If only they had that policy back in the 40’s.  

So you better make those reservations, because we all know how awkward it is when you’re on a great first date, but then you get to Auschwitz and remember you forgot to make reservations.

She told you to call ahead, you know how packed concentration camps get on a Tuesday.

Now this whole story is disgusting already, but it gets worse. When you go to make reservations online, the first thing you have to do is fill in a captcha. You know, to make sure you’re a human masochist and not a robot masochist.

But for anyone who might be, let’s say, a holocaust survivor, that captcha might remind them of something really fucked up.


Nothing says remembering Auschwitz like having to identify your humanity through a number ID.

If you get passed the completely insensitive captcha, things get even weirder when you realize you’re entering all of your personal and credit card information into a concentration camp’s website.

What if this information gets into the wrong hands? Or what if this is all part of a bigger, horrifying plan set-up by Hitler’s great-great-lazy-hipster-grandson, Jeff Hitler. And he’s going to use all of your information to promote his new start-up, Swastika Tinder. If they have blonde hair and blue eyes, the app automatically swipes right.

Hey Auschwitz Museum, if you need people to make reservations to visit the memorial, maybe you can create something that's a little bit more sensitive and classier than your website, like a Facebook event.