Mike Lemme

The St. Mark's Sessions begin November 10th!

SAE Parents: Shocked And Saddened

Parents of Levi Pettit, one of the SAE fraternity members videotaped singing a racist chant, released a statement saying they’re “shocked and saddened” by what they saw. They went on to describe their son as being a “good boy” and “not a racist.”

I don’t know about this. If I was a “shocked and sadden” parent, my statement would be more like, “That’s not my kid…no seriously, search his name on Facebook.

 

My son is the one with his wife, kissing their beautiful non-racist baby. Their baby is so not racist; its first words were “Selma should’ve been nominated.”  And no, we have no relation at all to chip eater at lead paints unlimited.”

It must suck having to write a statement to the media, telling the world your son isn’t racist.

But on the bright side, now his parents get to save a lot of money, because I don’t think you get birthday presents after that. “Son, Happy 40th Birthday. This year I got you the 40th page of results you get when you google our family and the words “horrible mistake.””